Chrysanthmum
by Eggsactly
Summary: Everytime I look out my window and see my chrysanthemums, I think of you. Am I still in love with you? Maybe. [Pairings inside.][Slightly AU.][Constructive criticism and reviews much appreciated.]


**AUTHORESS' HIGHLY IMPORTANT NOTE!**

**I don't neccesarily AGREE with the pairings in this story. I wrote this story as a sort of monolouge of a nameless woman, and discovered that I could, in fact, turn it into a fanfiction. Please, read it for the SAKE of reading it!**

**The characters are as follows:**

**Sakura: Woman**

**Gaara: Old love**

**Sai: New love**

**I'm aware these pairings are...iffy at best. They just...somehow suit the story. **

**Note that this story is quite an AU story!**

**Ah, but I digress. Do you really need a disclaimer? Honestly, this story was typed in ENGLISH and made in CANADA.**

**'Nuff said.**

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Love is meant to pass through your life, coming and going however it pleases. You always have something you love, regardless of whether you acknowledge it or not. This could mean anything: power, revenge, love itself, sadly, even murder. I have always loved something, as you know. When I was younger, I loved someone. Then, I loved you. Now, I have my new love. I know you don't know him. He doesn't know you, either. I doubt that you two will ever meet.

I still remember our love. Everytime I look at my precious chrysanthemums, I think of you. Do I still love you? I guess you could say that. I love you how one loves a cherished memory. Even though I now have him. Want to know something? I'm sure you've thought of it, but it's true. Soon, we'll have a third member of our family. One more person to love and welcome into the world. It's sure to be lovely. Him, her and I. Why her? I'm sure she's going to be, well, a she!

Do you remember? Remember the chrysanthemums? It was near the end of our love. We were at a festival. I still remember your outfit... Remember how we saw those bright, dancing lights? Our hands tightened around eachothers' in support; we both were in shock. I know you, to, were dazzled by those lights. You never said it though. You never really said anmything, whether it be about your feelings, my feelings or _our_ feelings. I recall us inching forward, moths to a flame. An almost child-like curiousity swept over us. That's when we found it, our haven. The look on your face... It's etched into my memory for always.

When we edged closer, we discovered a wondrous sight. Chrysanthemums, tons of them, all decorated and shining. They lit the festival, teasing all eyes towards them. Were their others there? As dumbstruck as we were? Probably. At the time, it was just us two. In our own little world. As we strolled through this little piece of heaven, I began to realize the awful truth. Like the flower that blooms and then wilts, our world was wilting. It hurt.

I still think you realized it as soon as I did. You grabbed one of the flowers from a tree, placing it gently into my palm. Holding my palm out, you took my other hand, placing it over the flower. Holding the hands steady for a moment, you bent down and kissed my fingertips. I had never been more shocked. You never showed affection like that so...outright. It was frightening, almost.

A month later, well, you know what happened. I cried. I cried my soul out. I cried almost as much as when... no. I cried much more than the time from so many (it seemed) years ago. When my first love left. I understood though. You had your duties. I had my own. Even so, many months after that left me wondering. Why, why only when we parted did you tell me the words I'd so craved to hear? To this day, I do not understand it. I still question... why?

He's sort of like you, my new love. Not one to show affection. But, what he does show is enough. His smile, his pictures, the flowers. His smile is only faint, his pictures almost always abstract, the flowers coming in sets of one. But, for each smile, he says the magic words. The title of each picture is the same. The flowers always have a note attached. The presents come few and far in between, but I cherish each one. I know that he does love me.

Maybe, if things had gone differently, we would have worked out. Yet, I wonder. Would that be best? You're most certainly not one for gestures of affections. Only after conquering my fears did I blurt out my feelings. The only response I got was that soft smile and your first hug. I knew you reciprocated my feelings. After that, we just really held hands. Only on occasion. That's okay. What hurt was that no matter how hard I sought, craved, needed you to say those words, no matter how hard I tried to pry them from your lips, you spoke naught.

I'm happy now. My new love...no, my love. I really, truly and deeply care for him. I... just wanted you to know that despite all of that, you have always been a part of me.

I will always cherish you.

_My chrysanthemum..._

**----**

**A/N Ah! Fin! The reason I selected Gaara and Sai? Sai and Gaara don't meet at all (I believe...) I also believe that Sakura would fall (again!) for the enigmatic and seemingly emotionless kind of guys. The mysterious guys; the bad boys! Soooo...hence Sai and Gaara.**

**This is my first fanfiction, please review!**


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